NOTE - As promised, this post has now been cleaned up and improved. I've added pictures and video from the ceremony, cleaned up spellings, and reformatted the post so it's a bit easier and more fun to read. Hope you enjoyed the liveblog, and will join me for the Oscar liveblog in a fortnight's time.
8:30 - Half an hour to go. This ought to be an interesting experiment. I've got predictions ready in all categories except for the short films, now I've got to get my other preparations... VERY large mug of strong, sweet, tea. Brewing as we speak. Snacks... hmmm... need snacks. Comfy chair. In place. Beeper to censor inevitable swearing, oh, right, I don't have one, so consider yourselves warned. Tomorrow morning I'll edit this post, clean up spelling and things and add some pics and video where possible, but for now you'll have to excuse any errors as I'll be typing as fast as my limited skills allow.
9:00 - Here we go then.
9:00 - Oh bollocks, Wossy's hosting
9:02 - Red carpet's rather starry. Audrey Tautou is the epitome of cute, and Anna Kendrick looks great too.
9:03 - Coming to you from James Cameron's shed. Wossy's jokes are flopping.
9:05 - Pattinson gets a name check, and two very poor gags.
9:06 - Wossy's having to explain his jokes now, damn, that's sad.
9:07 - Big applause for Up, good thing too.
9:08 - A Tiger Woods joke, ooh, daring. Does get a laugh though.
9:10 - Oh, why is Revenge of the Fallen in the montage?
9:11 - Outstanding debut by a British writer, director or producer
The former Zowie Bowie will take something home, this seems the logical choice.
9:12 - big applause for Moon nomination.
9:13 - Winner: Duncan Jones for Moon. I'm 1/1.
9:14 - Oh god, first tears of the evening. Is this on a delay? That speech felt cut.
9:15 - Special Visual Effects
9:16 - Winner: Avatar. 2/2.
9:18 - Nice speeches, and it's great that the tech guys don't get cut off by BAFTA as they do by AMPAS.
9:20 - Why do we always have EPK's for the Best Pic nominees, won't a clip do it?
9:21 - Best Supporting Actor
Prediction: Christoph Waltz
And the train keeps on rolling for Waltz.
9:22 - Oh, Anna Kendrick's yummy. Also, nice that Christian McKay gets a nod. Even though he won't win.
9:24 - Winner: Christoph Waltz for Inglourious Basterds. 3/3. He seems genuinely moved "That's supported actor". Classy man. Also, awesome beard sir.
9:26 - Costume Design
Prediction: Either the one about a fashion designer (Coco Before Chanel) or the one by a fashion designer (A Single Man).
9:28 - 3/4. It's The Young Victoria.
9:29 - Fumbled speech there, unless the tribute to a deceased colleague was meant to be "Annie is replaceable". Oops.
9:31 - EPK for An Education. Why isn't Rosamund Pike nominated for Supporting?
9:32 - Makeup and Hair
Prediction: Coco Before Chanel
A wild guess really.
9:32 - Matthew Goode's as wooden a sight reader as he is an actor.
9:33 - 3/5. Young Victoria again.
9:35 - Best Supporting Actress
Probably too forceful a performance to ignore, unless Anne Marie Duff sneaks in, as she did at the Evening Standard awards. I'd like to be wrong. Anna Kendrick please.
9:36 - Matt Dillon doesn't age.
9:38 - Winner: Mo'Nique for Precious 4/6. Lee Daniels collecting for her.
9:39 - Outstanding British Film
Prediction: A tough call. I’ll roll the dice on MY favourite; Fish Tank. Presented by 'dame in waiting' Rupert Everett, a rare good line there from Ross.
9:42 - 5/7. YEEEEESSSSS. Fish Tank, that's something you don't see at the fucking Oscars.
9:43 - Andrea Arnold had an odd dream last night, slightly odd speech, but I'll forgive her because she's so damn talented.
9:45 - Odd ream, for odd dream. That's a BAD spelling error, it's corrected now.
9:46 - why no laugh, that's a good screenwriter gag
9:47 - Original Screenplay
Prediction: Inglourious Basterds.I think this will be Tarantino’s booby prize, tonight and in a fortnight.
9:49 - 5/8. The Hurt Locker wins. That puts it right in there for Picture.
9:50 - Is there a more beautiful 58 year old woman than Kathryn Bigelow?
9:51 - Aside: Rebecca Hall looks like my stepsister. No, I won't introduce you
9:53 - Production Design
Prediction: The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus
Weird and beautiful films are what this category is made for.
5/9. Avatar wins. Tech sweep time.
9:57 - Orange Rising Star Award [PUBLIC VOTE]
Prediction: Kristen Stewart
Twihards will win this. I voted for Carey Mulligan.
9:58 - FUCK, those puns hurt.
10:00 - Winner: Kristen Stewart 6/10. Wish I'd been wrong there.
10:02 - Adapted Screenplay
Prediction: In the Loop
A lot of warmth out there for this one, and the writing was clearly the outstanding element.
10:05 - 6/11. Up in the Air wins. I suck at this predictions game.
10:07 - In Memoriam.
10:10 - Choked up now, too many people on that list.
10:11 - Animated film
With nothing in second
10:12 - Winner: Up. 7/12. GOOD.
10:13 - Sweet speech; not overwhelmed, but a nice tribute to his family.
10:14 - Film Not in the English Language
Prediction: I think it’s likely to be a razor thin margin between The White Ribbon and A Prophet, I hope it’s Haneke, but my head says Audiard. GREAT category this year.
10:16 - Seems to be more applause in this category than any so far.
10:17 - 8/13. A Prophet wins. I still think Haneke's being repeatedly robbed.
10:18 - Funny speech by Audiard, if stuck up, making sure nobody else speaks and thanking only himself. Cock. He should at least have thanked Tahar Rahim.
10:21 - Director
Prediction: Kathryn Bigelow
Another continuing sweep on its way to an Oscar triumph.
10:24 - Winner: Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker. 9/14.
10:25 - Nice, no long list of names, nothing too political, but hitting a pro-peace, and pro-troops note.
10:26 - Best Actor
Prediction: Colin Firth
Jeff Bridges name is already on the Oscar, but Firth is probably going to be in second place there, and with the affection he generates here I think he might sneak this one.
10:28 Winner: Colin Firth for A Single Man. 10/15. A well deserved win for a great performance in a film that doesn't quite earn it.
10:29 - "I'd like to thank the fridge guy". Very funny speech from a classy and underrated actor.
10:31 - Best Actress
Prediction: Carey Mulligan
THE new British star of the year, and since she won’t win the public voted rising star award this will likely be how her brilliant performance in An Education will be rewarded.
Rourke's presenting. Someone's gonna get molested.
10:32 - "Slow it down". "Aplum?" Oh, that was FUN.
10:34 - Winner: Carey Mulligan for An Education. 11/16. Great performance, though I'm not sure Saoirse Ronan wasn't better.
10:35 - She seems genuinely shocked, but she shouldn't be. "Hi", cute.
10:36 - Best Film
Prediction: An Education
I just don’t see the British academy drinking the blue kool aid.
10:38 - The Hurt Locker. The Best Picture Oscar just became interesting.
10:39 - Final total: 11/17. Not terrible, but not good.
10:40 - Fellowship. To Vanessa Redgrave. Sad to hear that Richard Attenborough is unwell. Why the hell is Prince William becoming president of BAFTA. What the Christ does he have to do with movies?
10:42 - There will soon be tears, Natasha Richardson, who died last March, was Redgrave's daughter.
10:44 - I'm going to let Uma Thurman read her autocue, I need a pee.
10:55 - Not the speech I expected. Strong feeling, some sentiment, but always light and, thank God, never hijacked by politics. Very dignified.
So, what did we learn?
1: I suck at predictions.
2: Jonathan Ross needs either better writers or replacing.
3: I think I need some practice at this liveblogging thing.
4: The BAFTAS > The Oscars.