News: Zombies will kill us all

I’m going to University next year, I hope I get to do studies like this. Researchers from the University of Ottowa and Carleton University recently posed themselves the question: “If there was to be a battle between zombies and humanity, who would win?” Their model was based on a zombie attack by the “classical pop-culture zombie - slow moving, cannibalistic and undead.” Sadly, they concluded that we are pretty much doomed, saying; “a zombie outbreak is likely to lead to the collapse of civilisation.”

Of course what this fails to account for is the fact that anyone can fight zombies, and that pretty much everyone knows how. My best friend is by no means a horror fan, and has seen just one zombie movie, but even he knows how to kill a zombie “shoot ‘em in the head.” I think humanity will be fine if confronted by a zombie outbreak, as long as we’ve got plenty of bullets. As the scientists said “the most effective way to contain the rise of the undead is to hit hard and to hit often.”